My boyfriend wrangled me into watching Terminator Genisys yesterday while I was tired and quite happy to go along with anything he suggested- so this movie review might be a tad bit biased since I’m usually the “animated film” type of moviegoer.
To be fair, I loved the first few Terminator movies. I cried at the famous line “Hasta la vista, baby.”. My dad brought me up on a diet of action movies and futuristic films from the Matrix to Independence Day to Planet of the Apes and the Alien and Predator films (Alien vs Predator is still my all-time favourite movie).
This movie, though, fell short of my expectations.
Honestly, Genisys?
I can imagine the scriptwriters coming up with the movie title:
“Hey, I was thinking of something that accurately portrays this movie about time travel and going back to the past.”
“Something about beginnings.”
“How about Genesis? Sounds cool enough.”
“It lacks that scientific flair, mate. It needs to be cool and futuristic. Something…”
“How about Genisys? It’s kind of the same, but more futuristic. And it’s the name of the company too. Saves us trouble.”
“It’s perfect!! You get a promotion, dear sir. The audiences will love it!”
All in all, the movie was only saved by Arnold’s one-liners, his over-protectiveness, Emilia Clarke’s beautiful visage and oooh that hot Asian Terminator!
His sharp side glances and swift movements made me swoon, to be honest.
Apparently lots of other moviegoers agreed- I ran a quick Google search by typing in “Terminator cast” and the top suggestion was “terminator cast Asian”.
His name is Lee Byung-Hun. You can thank me later.
Looks aside, it’s obvious who the real protagonists in the movie are- Arnold Schwarzenegger, Emilia Clarke, and Jason Clarke.
Jai Courtney was entirely useless in this film and looked like he should have starred in the Facebook movie instead- I could have sworn Sarah Connor’s love interest was Mark Zuckerberg.
I spent most of the movie whispering to my boyfriend about how unfair movies are and how Kyle Reese was pretty much a burden to everyone else but is still portrayed as the hero who calms down the damsel in distress.
From the start to the end, his only useful points were his alternate timeline memories (don’t quote me on this one, the time travel thing made me so confused- more on that later) and his ability to cling on to the very hot Emilia Clarke and uh, protect her. Or something.
Tomb Raider-esque outfit aside, Sarah Connor pretty much held her own.
Guns? Rocket Launchers? Bombs?
She handled everything perfectly.
I’d pay to see a movie about Sarah growing up with T-800 rather than Terminator Genisys. Imagine his attempts to fit in. Cue a very frustrated young Sarah trying to educate him on the ways of the world.
I would pay $100 to watch the scene where she gets her period for the first time and T-800 panics and threatens the doctors to cure her from her constant bleeding.
It would be so much more unique than this movie anyway- since I realised Terminator Genisys is essentially a repeat of the first few Terminator movies:
Terminators? Check.
Time travel? Check.
Lots of scientific mumbo-jumbo that they spout quickly hoping audiences will go along with it? Check.
Honestly, I know I’m not very good at Science in general but I don’t think a “liquified magnetic quantum bullet” or something along those lines make any sense. Or the fact that T-800 survived the blast AND got an upgrade. Or the whole alternate timeline thing in general.
But hey, this is science fiction, who cares about the plot holes when you have shiny robots and violence?! I just nodded at their scientific mumbo-jumbo and went along with it.
I can tell this movie review isn’t much of a review and more of a complaints form packaged as a review, but if Gordon Ramsay can be cruelly critical, so can I.
I’d like to end off by pointing out how bloody unfair it is that leading ladies always have to be gorgeous and curvy, while the leading men can just be practically useless and get the girl in the end.
Mind telling us how Sarah Connor fell in love with this useless guy she had to save not just once, but thrice (or more, if her quick-thinking counts).
Honestly if I didn’t know the mainstream media better, I could have pegged John Connor and Kyle Reese to be comrades-in-arms sharing a (technically) incestuous homo-erotic relationship.
That kiss at the end came out of the blue, honestly. Sarah probably mated with him (I loved the use of the word) to ensure John was born, since the only time I felt chemistry between them was during the time travel thingamajig.
Even John or Pops (T-800) had more chemistry with her, for goodness sake!
*heaves a great sigh*
Well, here is my Terminator Genisys movie review criticism of sorts.
Given how many proper movie reviews there are out there, I figured this would be a welcome change.
Random Rambles 